I promise, promise, promise to post more fun and exciting things soon. I have some great pictures from my trips this summer. However, tonight I am going to bed early because I start my new job in the morning--YAY!
I report to the hospital at 8:30am so start my chaplaincy, and I'm nervous/excited about it all. I wrote in an e-mail to my friend John, who is a brilliant chaplain and friend, "I start my CPE residency tomorrow, and I'm just a wee bit nervous. It kind of feels like the first day of kindergarten again--I don't know where I'm going, I don't know who my teacher is, I'm not sure what it's going to be like, and there's a very real chance I might, at some point, cry. However, this time I won't have a nap time and I'll be dressed in a suit. Is that progress?"
I hope all of you are well. Fun and exciting things are afoot...
Monday, September 3, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Racism Today
I just cut and pasted this from the colorofchange.org website. Even if you don't go online to sign the petition, I highly recommend informing yourself. This is a terrible situation and has gotten very little media coverage. The more outraged the wider world becomes, the less people can get away with stuff like this.
Dear friend,
I just learned about a case of segregation-era oppression happening today in Jena, Louisiana. I signed onto ColorOfChange.org's campaign for justice in Jena, and wanted to invite you to do the same.
http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=1909-224014
Last fall in Jena, the day after two Black high school students sat beneath the "white tree" on their campus, nooses were hung from the tree. When the superintendent dismissed the nooses as a "prank," more Black students sat under the tree in protest. The District Attorney then came to the school accompanied by the town's police and demanded that the students end their protest, telling them, "I can be your best friend or your worst enemy... I can take away your lives with a stroke of my pen."
A series of white-on-black incidents of violence followed, and the DA did nothing. But when a white student was beaten up in a schoolyard fight, the DA responded by charging six black students with attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder.
It's a story that reads like one from the Jim Crow era, when judges, lawyers and all-white juries used the justice system to keep blacks in "their place." But it's happening today. The families of these young men are fighting back, but the story has gotten minimal press. Together, we can make sure their story is told and that the Governor of Louisiana intervenes and provides justice for the Jena 6. It starts now. Please join me:
http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=1909-224014
The noose-hanging incident and the DA's visit to the school set the stage for everything that followed. Racial tension escalated over the next couple of months, and on November 30, the main academic building of Jena High School was burned down in an unsolved fire. Later the same weekend, a black student was beaten up by white students at a party. The next day, black students at a convenience store were threatened by a young white man with a shotgun. They wrestled the gun from him and ran away. While no charges were filed against the white man, the students were later arrested for the theft of the gun.
That Monday at school, a white student, who had been a vocal supporter of the students who hung the nooses, taunted the black student who was beaten up at the off-campus party and allegedly called several black students "nigger." After lunch, he was knocked down, punched and kicked by black students. He was taken to the hospital, but was released and was well enough to go to a social event that evening.
Six Black Jena High students, Robert Bailey (17), Theo Shaw (17), Carwin Jones (18), Bryant Purvis (17), Mychal Bell (16) and an unidentified minor, were expelled from school, arrested and charged with second-degree attempted murder. The first trial ended last month, and Mychal Bell, who has been in prison since December, was convicted of aggravated battery and conspiracy to commit aggravated battery (both felonies) by an all-white jury in a trial where his public defender called no witnesses. During his trial, Mychal's parents were ordered not to speak to the media and the court prohibited protests from taking place near the courtroom or where the judge could see them.
Mychal is scheduled to be sentenced on July 31st, and could go to jail for 22 years. Theo Shaw's trial is next. He will finally make bail this week.
The Jena Six are lucky to have parents and loved ones who are fighting tooth and nail to free them. They have been threatened but they are standing strong. We know that if the families have to go it alone, their sons will be a long time coming home. But if we act now, we can make a difference.
Join me in demanding that Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco get involved to make sure that justice is served for Mychal Bell, and that DA Reed Walters drop the charges against the 5 boys who have not yet gone to trial.
http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=1909-224014
Thanks.
Anne
Dear friend,
I just learned about a case of segregation-era oppression happening today in Jena, Louisiana. I signed onto ColorOfChange.org's campaign for justice in Jena, and wanted to invite you to do the same.
http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=1909-224014
Last fall in Jena, the day after two Black high school students sat beneath the "white tree" on their campus, nooses were hung from the tree. When the superintendent dismissed the nooses as a "prank," more Black students sat under the tree in protest. The District Attorney then came to the school accompanied by the town's police and demanded that the students end their protest, telling them, "I can be your best friend or your worst enemy... I can take away your lives with a stroke of my pen."
A series of white-on-black incidents of violence followed, and the DA did nothing. But when a white student was beaten up in a schoolyard fight, the DA responded by charging six black students with attempted murder and conspiracy to commit murder.
It's a story that reads like one from the Jim Crow era, when judges, lawyers and all-white juries used the justice system to keep blacks in "their place." But it's happening today. The families of these young men are fighting back, but the story has gotten minimal press. Together, we can make sure their story is told and that the Governor of Louisiana intervenes and provides justice for the Jena 6. It starts now. Please join me:
http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=1909-224014
The noose-hanging incident and the DA's visit to the school set the stage for everything that followed. Racial tension escalated over the next couple of months, and on November 30, the main academic building of Jena High School was burned down in an unsolved fire. Later the same weekend, a black student was beaten up by white students at a party. The next day, black students at a convenience store were threatened by a young white man with a shotgun. They wrestled the gun from him and ran away. While no charges were filed against the white man, the students were later arrested for the theft of the gun.
That Monday at school, a white student, who had been a vocal supporter of the students who hung the nooses, taunted the black student who was beaten up at the off-campus party and allegedly called several black students "nigger." After lunch, he was knocked down, punched and kicked by black students. He was taken to the hospital, but was released and was well enough to go to a social event that evening.
Six Black Jena High students, Robert Bailey (17), Theo Shaw (17), Carwin Jones (18), Bryant Purvis (17), Mychal Bell (16) and an unidentified minor, were expelled from school, arrested and charged with second-degree attempted murder. The first trial ended last month, and Mychal Bell, who has been in prison since December, was convicted of aggravated battery and conspiracy to commit aggravated battery (both felonies) by an all-white jury in a trial where his public defender called no witnesses. During his trial, Mychal's parents were ordered not to speak to the media and the court prohibited protests from taking place near the courtroom or where the judge could see them.
Mychal is scheduled to be sentenced on July 31st, and could go to jail for 22 years. Theo Shaw's trial is next. He will finally make bail this week.
The Jena Six are lucky to have parents and loved ones who are fighting tooth and nail to free them. They have been threatened but they are standing strong. We know that if the families have to go it alone, their sons will be a long time coming home. But if we act now, we can make a difference.
Join me in demanding that Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco get involved to make sure that justice is served for Mychal Bell, and that DA Reed Walters drop the charges against the 5 boys who have not yet gone to trial.
http://www.colorofchange.org/jena/?id=1909-224014
Thanks.
Anne
My New Favorite Phrase
I've found myself using the same phrase over and over again lately. It's not a new phrase, or a particularly exciting one. Rather, it's an expression of frustration using words that are not directly blaming one individual. The phrase is, "I find that problematic."
This phrase has really come in handy a lot lately. For example, it was very useful when my boss called me all in a tizzy saying she hadn't yet received documentation for all the transactions done in September, October, and November of 2007. My initial reply was, "it's August." Not immediately comprehending, she said, "I know." I replied, "No, it's August of 2007--September, October, and November of 2007 haven't happened yet." When two accountants and a vice president don't notice that they're getting all hot and bothered about documentation for fictional transactions, and it takes a lowly student worker to point this out, I say, "I find this problematic."
The great thing about this phrase is that it's not, "I find you problematic" (although I'm sure that's a useful phrase as well). It's not a mean phrase or a phrase that shocks. It is understated yet clear. "I find this problematic" just has so many fine qualities.
The good news is I'll be starting a new job soon. While I'm sure I'll have my share of frustrations there, it will give me a fresh start and new skills to learn. It might even be quite some time before I find anything in particular problematic.
Has anyone else needed to use this phrase recently?
This phrase has really come in handy a lot lately. For example, it was very useful when my boss called me all in a tizzy saying she hadn't yet received documentation for all the transactions done in September, October, and November of 2007. My initial reply was, "it's August." Not immediately comprehending, she said, "I know." I replied, "No, it's August of 2007--September, October, and November of 2007 haven't happened yet." When two accountants and a vice president don't notice that they're getting all hot and bothered about documentation for fictional transactions, and it takes a lowly student worker to point this out, I say, "I find this problematic."
The great thing about this phrase is that it's not, "I find you problematic" (although I'm sure that's a useful phrase as well). It's not a mean phrase or a phrase that shocks. It is understated yet clear. "I find this problematic" just has so many fine qualities.
The good news is I'll be starting a new job soon. While I'm sure I'll have my share of frustrations there, it will give me a fresh start and new skills to learn. It might even be quite some time before I find anything in particular problematic.
Has anyone else needed to use this phrase recently?
Thursday, August 2, 2007
My Bizarre Jobs
Someone donated stock to the school today, and I had to wait until the New York Stock Exchange closed in order to get a "historical quote," which is basically the average price of the stock for that day. I've done a lot of crazy things for work--shoveled horse manure, repainted the lines on a football field, led young children on a fictional bear hunt, crawled through a giant 3-dimensional ant hill...and yet...waiting for the NYSE to close somehow seems the strangest of them all.
I guess I really am meant to work in non-profits for the rest of my life.
I guess I really am meant to work in non-profits for the rest of my life.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
The Nature of Conflict
I've been thinking a lot lately about conflict. In general, I think many people are pretty conflict-avoidant. I've seen whole families dance around an argument or a family "secret," intent on maintaining a persona of perfection or at the very least cohesion. I myself grew up in such a family.
Sometimes there's really something to be said for avoiding conflict, such as when a group needs to act as one for safety or to accomplish a task. If a community's only chance of escaping a war-torn country is to temporarily bury their internal disagreements and work as one to escape persecution, conflict-avoidance can, on several levels (not the least of which is literally), save lives.
However, on the whole, our fear of conflict seems to drive us ever further apart as opposed to into a cohesive whole. To reference the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith (any why the heck not?), "the space between us just seems to fill up with all the things we never say." Whether we do not say what we really mean and communicate what's really going on out of "good manners," an urge to "protect" the other, or the belief that we can just let whatever it is we want to say go, there are a million reasons to not face the perception of difference.
Really, at the end of the day, that is what we are all scared of--a perception of difference. I spent years not talking to my extended family about politics, believing that if we talked about our beliefs, we would disagree. If we disagreed, we could never really go back to pretending we did agree. And if we couldn't even pretend we agreed, how could we ever be a family again?
I think that fearing conflict is underestimating our personal and collective abilities. We are complex creatures who are capable of speech, movement, emotions, reproduction, and invention, yet we operate on the notion that we are incapable of reaching greater levels of understanding, that we cannot possibly find a way to move even closer to one another as a result of communicating through a conflict.
I still remember a lesson my mother pointed out to me my first year of college. I was living with this wonderful, amazing, hilarious, outgoing, thoughtful, brilliant roommate named Anna. We quickly became friends, and we both found ways to expand each other's understanding of the world. Anna, who liked things beautiful and clean and bold, helped me throw away some of my pack-rat objects that were holding me down. I, who liked things serene and practical and stable, helped Anna ground some of her amazing energy. Together, our friendship made us stronger than we were individually.
Sometime in the middle of second semester, Anna and I got into a fight. I honestly don't remember what we argued about. However, it felt devastating. Here was this person who was beautiful inside and out, who was such a ray of sunshine, and we weren't speaking. We weren't staying up late and gossiping, we weren't laughing, or smiling, or leaping off the furniture lip-syncing to Little Richie songs.
Then, one day, it changed. I don't remember who started crying first. I don't remember who apologized first. I don't know when the hug began and when it ended, but it all happened. It was like this weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt 100 pounds lighter. It was like, the world had opened back up to me. Like I was getting a second chance to try harder.
Even though we'd said mean things to each other and not spoken for days, the conflict made our bond stronger. We both knew that we had made it to the other side of something, and that mutual effort had given us more in common. It made us realize how much we valued the other person, how much they valued us, and how much effort we were both willing to put into our relationship.
I was telling my mother this story. It was like recounting an ancient miracle, I couldn't believe that 2 - 2 could equal 4. Then, my mother said to me, "Remember this feeling. Remember how moving through something made you stronger. This is what marriage is like."
I was kind of taken aback by the statement. Delving into really hard subjects, feeling disconnected before you can feel reconnected, facing times when you think it's all going to fall apart--this did not fit my fairy-tale image of marriage. And yet, it seemed a lot more plausible.
This theory, that communicating honestly in conflict can make you stronger, that not avoiding conflict can lead to less conflict, has proven itself right again and again. I've said some pretty audacious things to friends, family, and colleagues, I've been scared that a rift might never heal, I've thought about (and sometimes have) hidden my feelings or avoided someone in an attempt to escape the constricting feeling of conflict. And yet...and yet...facing it, saying what I need to say, not being afraid to make a fool of myself, and not being afraid to come back later and apologize for making a fool of myself, has only served to deepen relationships. It has only magnified my friendships. It has only built my trust in myself and my intuitions.
I guess I'm just feeling really grateful for conflict lately. Grateful that I've found ways through it, grateful my friends, family, and colleagues have been willing to meet me there, grateful that saying something can set me free, grateful that we are such complex and capable creatures when we give ourselves a chance.
Any thoughts?
Sometimes there's really something to be said for avoiding conflict, such as when a group needs to act as one for safety or to accomplish a task. If a community's only chance of escaping a war-torn country is to temporarily bury their internal disagreements and work as one to escape persecution, conflict-avoidance can, on several levels (not the least of which is literally), save lives.
However, on the whole, our fear of conflict seems to drive us ever further apart as opposed to into a cohesive whole. To reference the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith (any why the heck not?), "the space between us just seems to fill up with all the things we never say." Whether we do not say what we really mean and communicate what's really going on out of "good manners," an urge to "protect" the other, or the belief that we can just let whatever it is we want to say go, there are a million reasons to not face the perception of difference.
Really, at the end of the day, that is what we are all scared of--a perception of difference. I spent years not talking to my extended family about politics, believing that if we talked about our beliefs, we would disagree. If we disagreed, we could never really go back to pretending we did agree. And if we couldn't even pretend we agreed, how could we ever be a family again?
I think that fearing conflict is underestimating our personal and collective abilities. We are complex creatures who are capable of speech, movement, emotions, reproduction, and invention, yet we operate on the notion that we are incapable of reaching greater levels of understanding, that we cannot possibly find a way to move even closer to one another as a result of communicating through a conflict.
I still remember a lesson my mother pointed out to me my first year of college. I was living with this wonderful, amazing, hilarious, outgoing, thoughtful, brilliant roommate named Anna. We quickly became friends, and we both found ways to expand each other's understanding of the world. Anna, who liked things beautiful and clean and bold, helped me throw away some of my pack-rat objects that were holding me down. I, who liked things serene and practical and stable, helped Anna ground some of her amazing energy. Together, our friendship made us stronger than we were individually.
Sometime in the middle of second semester, Anna and I got into a fight. I honestly don't remember what we argued about. However, it felt devastating. Here was this person who was beautiful inside and out, who was such a ray of sunshine, and we weren't speaking. We weren't staying up late and gossiping, we weren't laughing, or smiling, or leaping off the furniture lip-syncing to Little Richie songs.
Then, one day, it changed. I don't remember who started crying first. I don't remember who apologized first. I don't know when the hug began and when it ended, but it all happened. It was like this weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt 100 pounds lighter. It was like, the world had opened back up to me. Like I was getting a second chance to try harder.
Even though we'd said mean things to each other and not spoken for days, the conflict made our bond stronger. We both knew that we had made it to the other side of something, and that mutual effort had given us more in common. It made us realize how much we valued the other person, how much they valued us, and how much effort we were both willing to put into our relationship.
I was telling my mother this story. It was like recounting an ancient miracle, I couldn't believe that 2 - 2 could equal 4. Then, my mother said to me, "Remember this feeling. Remember how moving through something made you stronger. This is what marriage is like."
I was kind of taken aback by the statement. Delving into really hard subjects, feeling disconnected before you can feel reconnected, facing times when you think it's all going to fall apart--this did not fit my fairy-tale image of marriage. And yet, it seemed a lot more plausible.
This theory, that communicating honestly in conflict can make you stronger, that not avoiding conflict can lead to less conflict, has proven itself right again and again. I've said some pretty audacious things to friends, family, and colleagues, I've been scared that a rift might never heal, I've thought about (and sometimes have) hidden my feelings or avoided someone in an attempt to escape the constricting feeling of conflict. And yet...and yet...facing it, saying what I need to say, not being afraid to make a fool of myself, and not being afraid to come back later and apologize for making a fool of myself, has only served to deepen relationships. It has only magnified my friendships. It has only built my trust in myself and my intuitions.
I guess I'm just feeling really grateful for conflict lately. Grateful that I've found ways through it, grateful my friends, family, and colleagues have been willing to meet me there, grateful that saying something can set me free, grateful that we are such complex and capable creatures when we give ourselves a chance.
Any thoughts?
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Eek, What a Busy Summer!
I had this sort of dream summer planned out. I was going to work part-time (10-15 hours a week), read some good books, and take a few trips to visit friends and family. It was going to be a peaceful time, full of introspection, sleeping in, and getting more involved in what really mattered to me rather than with endless amounts of homework and data entry for my job. It seems a distant dream now...
My reality has been more, well, real. After an unexpected resignation from my boss and mentor in June, I was spending 10 hours a day at my job trying to finish my own work as well as get a handle on hers. Did I ever mention I want to be a minister and not the Annual Funds Director at a small seminary?? In case I didn't, I never, under any circumstances, in any form or fashion, want to be solely responsible for managing hundreds of thousands of dollars of credit card, check, cash, and stock donations to a non-profit organization. Furthermore, endless conversations about how to make our computer programs talk to our consortium's computer programs using a complicated system of fund coding and FTTPing the csv file is at best bothersome and at worst the 10th ring of Hell.
That being said, I have read some great books this summer! If you've never read it, I highly recommend Jean Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear. It takes place tens of thousands of years ago when Neanderthals (a human cousin of the people we evolved from) and the Cro-Magnon people (our ancestors) both walked the earth at the same time. A 5 year-old Cro-Magnon girl's family dies in an earthquake, and she is left to fend for herself. Luckily, she is picked up and raised by a Neanderthal tribe. Jean Auel's careful research about the plants, animals, lifestyles, and the physical capabilities of different bodies is very evident. I highly recommend this book. Also, because it's so famous and popular, most public libraries have it. YAY for free book borrowing!
I am also in the midst of Harry Potter. It is so good. I'm only about 2/3 of the way through the book. I'm simultaneously unable to stop reading and wanting to make it last longer. My friend Justin (see picture in previous post) and I are both in the same place in the book, and we have been systematically avoiding people who are finished and want to tell us the ending. In the words of Justin, normally quite a peaceful man, "If anyone gives away the ending of Harry Potter to me, I'm going to go Blast-Ended Skrewt on their ass!" Justin has such a way with words.
That's all for now. More updates to come. :)
My reality has been more, well, real. After an unexpected resignation from my boss and mentor in June, I was spending 10 hours a day at my job trying to finish my own work as well as get a handle on hers. Did I ever mention I want to be a minister and not the Annual Funds Director at a small seminary?? In case I didn't, I never, under any circumstances, in any form or fashion, want to be solely responsible for managing hundreds of thousands of dollars of credit card, check, cash, and stock donations to a non-profit organization. Furthermore, endless conversations about how to make our computer programs talk to our consortium's computer programs using a complicated system of fund coding and FTTPing the csv file is at best bothersome and at worst the 10th ring of Hell.
That being said, I have read some great books this summer! If you've never read it, I highly recommend Jean Auel's Clan of the Cave Bear. It takes place tens of thousands of years ago when Neanderthals (a human cousin of the people we evolved from) and the Cro-Magnon people (our ancestors) both walked the earth at the same time. A 5 year-old Cro-Magnon girl's family dies in an earthquake, and she is left to fend for herself. Luckily, she is picked up and raised by a Neanderthal tribe. Jean Auel's careful research about the plants, animals, lifestyles, and the physical capabilities of different bodies is very evident. I highly recommend this book. Also, because it's so famous and popular, most public libraries have it. YAY for free book borrowing!
I am also in the midst of Harry Potter. It is so good. I'm only about 2/3 of the way through the book. I'm simultaneously unable to stop reading and wanting to make it last longer. My friend Justin (see picture in previous post) and I are both in the same place in the book, and we have been systematically avoiding people who are finished and want to tell us the ending. In the words of Justin, normally quite a peaceful man, "If anyone gives away the ending of Harry Potter to me, I'm going to go Blast-Ended Skrewt on their ass!" Justin has such a way with words.
That's all for now. More updates to come. :)
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
They're Reproducing!
I've known my friend Julia since before I can remember. We grew up together. Whenever we weren't at my house, we were at her house. The two of us spent hours talking about boys, and Green Day, and what we were going to do when we grew up. We dared each other to run through the sprinkler in her backyard naked. We were best friends all through elementary school and junior high, and I was devastated when her dad lost his job and the family moved to Evansville, IN for a new job.
Even though we don't see each other or talk a lot, she's one of those people I've known for so long that there's not much catch-up. We can pick up wherever we left off, and it's always great to hear what she's been up to.
It's funny how similarly two lives can start and how much they can veer off in different directions. Julia is still doing really well. She's living in Evansville with her husband, and the two of them are excitedly anticipating their daughter's arrival in a few months. I'm SO happy for them, and it's strange to be doing such different things in my life. I guess it's time to welcome in a new generation of naked-sprinkler-runners. Congratulations Julia and Jason!!
Even though we don't see each other or talk a lot, she's one of those people I've known for so long that there's not much catch-up. We can pick up wherever we left off, and it's always great to hear what she's been up to.
It's funny how similarly two lives can start and how much they can veer off in different directions. Julia is still doing really well. She's living in Evansville with her husband, and the two of them are excitedly anticipating their daughter's arrival in a few months. I'm SO happy for them, and it's strange to be doing such different things in my life. I guess it's time to welcome in a new generation of naked-sprinkler-runners. Congratulations Julia and Jason!!
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