The End-of-the-Year Sprint

Oh my goodness, I've had some busy, action packed days! May 17th marked the end of classes as well as my seminary's graduation. People flew in from their internship sites all over the country to graduate. It was great to see everyone. So many amazing people have come through my seminary, and I wanted to spend a week with all of them.

Graduation was also a chance to see my classmates as real, bona fide ministers. Everyone who graduates gets a Master of Divinity hood and then goes up to the pulpit to speak. Even though they only have two minutes, I'm constantly amazed at how beautifully and poignantly people speak. My classmates are the kind of people who give me hope in humanity.

The graduation was quickly followed by my friend Lisa's ordination the next day. The ordination was taking place in my home congregation, and I wanted to join my colleagues by robing and processing with the rest of the ministers and seminarians.

Through a series of events (including lots to do at work and unexpected amounts of traffic), I was running late. As I drove into the church parking lot, the ministers and seminarians were all in their robes and lined up waiting to process into the church. Realizing that I still had a chance to make it, I threw everything except for my car keys and my ministerial robes into the trunk and tried to start running.

I'm not much of a runner to begin with (I usually only run when chased), and the addition of the dress heels I was wearing made me realize I would never get there in time. I knew there was only one thing to do. I kicked off the heels and picked them up, threw the robe over my arm, and I ran. I ran through the parking lot, past the children's chapel, weaved around the religious education building, and up onto the patio. As I arrived out of breath and barefoot, Lisa, who was about to be ordained, looked at me in a seemingly serene way and said calmly, "Wow, you have such good timing."

As I caught my breath and pulled on my shoes and robe, I realized that all the ministers and seminarians down the line were smiling, totally amused at my arrival.

Saturday, I attended my friend Natalya's graduation. I met Natalya in a Religion and Film class at the Baptist seminary, and we became fast friends. She's one of those people who just lights up a room, and it was great to see her graduate. In addition to being a generally fabulous person, the girl can preach.

On Sunday, I preached at church and attended a church dinner. On Monday, I had to work and go to a church meeting.

By the end of the long weekend, everyone was exhausted. Even the most extroverted of my seminary friends were running on empty. It was the end of a sprint, and we were all showing signs of fatigue.


I've spent today relaxing. After all the hullabaloo of the last few weeks, I decided I needed to be introverted today. I watched the movie The Good Shepherd about the beginning of the CIA, a few episodes of the British comedy Coupling, and cuddled with my cats and the dog. Today has been a good day.

The top picture is of my roommate Leon and my former roommate (who graduated) Barb. The next picture is of me and my old roommate Justin (who did not graduate, but probably will next year). Below that is a picture of me and my good friends John (who graduated) and his wife Kit. They keep declaring they want to adopt me. Below that picture is Natalya and I at the Baptist seminary graduation. Finally, my roommates Leon and Elizabeth and former roommate Justin wait, exhausted, in the subway station.

http://www.workers.org/2007/us/berkeley-0531/

Happy Mother's Day!

Well, it's been a crazy day of paper writing. This is my last week of classes, perhaps forever, and everything is coming due in the next few days. I'm pretty much done with two of my classes, and I have a 20 page paper due tomorrow and a project due on Thursday. Friday is going to be a great day.

I don't think it has quite hit me yet that I won't be in seminary classes next year. I'm in one of those strange transitional spaces--it's time to leave classes, but it's not quite time to start my chaplaincy. It feels a bit like the summer between high school and college, or college and my first full-time job. I have this image of myself trying to walk out of a room, and there's something that is holding on to one of my ankles. I tug and I tug, but it still has a grasp. Slowly, over the last few days, it's begun to release it's grip.

I spent all day today in coffee houses. I was in the Temescal Cafe, a funky little dive down the street from me, from 10am to 4pm when it closed. I moved on to Tumble and Tea, this coffee house with a fabulous play area for toddlers, and stayed there until it closed at 6:30pm. It's kind of comforting to do homework there. I'm reminded of my 5 years at the children's museum as the kids run around dressed like lions and dinosaurs.

The next few days are going to be pretty busy. My friend Natalya is giving a presentation on her senior project Monday night before our 7pm class, Tuesday I'm helping to plan a worship service at church, Wednesday I work in the advancement office and go to an afternoon class, Thursday I have a project due in the afternoon and the seminary's graduation that night (I'm not graduating yet, but some people I love and adore are), Friday is my friend Lisa's ordination, Saturday I'm writing a sermon on the beach (if you have to write a sermon, you might as well do it there), and Sunday I'm preaching at church for our Coming of Age Service.

Whew--so many transitions! So much is changing. I keep expecting myself to be a bit more freaked out, but it's all just as it should be. As hard and exhausting as next year is going to be, it's time. It's just, time. That feels pretty good.

P.S. The photo was taken a few years ago when I was working at the children's museum. I'm teaching the kids about the life cycle of ants.

My First Wedding

I've officiated at a funeral before, but I had never done a wedding until March 30th of this year. My good friend Tabitha asked if I would marry her and her fiancee Matthew, and I was honored to be asked.

They decided on a small ceremony in their backyard. There were several toddlers who were going to be at the wedding, and in the backyard they could run around, play with toys, and the parents did not have to keep quite so close a watch on the kids.

Matt and Tabitha have a daughter who was just over a year old, and right before the wedding she decided she was hungry. Some family members stripped her out of her dress and started feeding her yogurt. Matt was calling people out to the backyard so we could start the wedding when he spotted his naked daughter in her high chair. He stopped, a small smile spread across his face, and he said, "five minutes!"

It was a simple ceremony. Matt and Tabitha shared how much they loved each other. At one point, their daughter Kiera yelled out "NO NO NO!," which had to do with the fact that she wasn't the center of attention as opposed to a protest about her parent's nuptials, but it was really cute and timely all the same.

The day went well, and I got through my first wedding without a hitch. Well, there was one hitch... I kind of...sort of...well...at the end of the ceremony...I introduced them with the wrong name. I declared they were married, and then introduced them with their new legal names. However, rather than introducing them "Matthew and Tabitha Thurston," I introduced them both with the bride's maiden name, "Matthew and Tabitha MacDonald."

Luckily, they thought it was HILARIOUS. People kept coming up to me and asking if I'd planned it that way, or if the bride had paid me to do it. Sometimes, it's the mess-ups and the unexpected that makes a moment special and memorable.

In any case, it was a beautiful day.

A Bit Deeper--The Nature of Sin

Just so you all know, I'm in the middle of tests and final papers. Usually, I wouldn't be waxing poetic about the nature of sin. However, here are some thoughts.

There have been several questions plaguing me this semester. Specifically, I have been pondering questions around the nature of suffering, evil, and sin. While I have spent a good deal of time defining what I do not believe, I was having trouble coming up with what I do believe. More specifically, these culturally and theologically loaded words had so many meanings, getting to the basis of my own beliefs meant slogging through the beliefs of many others.

I realized that until I wrestled with the nature of “sin,” I could not begin to wrestle with the nature of “salvation.” After going through several drafts, I came up with four beliefs I hold about the nature of sin. They are in no way comprehensive or a finished draft. Rather, they are a jumping off point for deeper theological reflection.

1. When we preference a few people at the expense of many, we sin.
2. When we are psychologically, mentally, physically, or emotionally violent, we sin.
1. Violence includes violence towards the earth
2. Exception to this belief is when violence is used as self-defense, which is a whole other discussion
3. When we ignore or deny another’s Divine spark in the way we treat them, we sin.
4. When we ignore or deny our own Divine spark in the way we treat ourselves, we sin.
   

Defining “sin” is proving trickier than I expected. For every definition, I thought of an exception as well as an area which was not covered. For example, when writing that we sin when we are violent, I thought about the atrocities of rape and domestic abuse. When one person manipulates and violates another with violence, they are sinning. However, I would not call a rape survivor a sinner for fighting back.

At the same time, the definition of sin is not wide enough. One does not have to do violence to sin. On the contrary, sin can be loving and kind. When I worked at a children’s museum, I met countless mothers who drove SUVs, had the most expensive strollers, and used disposable baby bottle liners. Even though they were polluting the environment, supporting sweatshop labor, filling our landfills, and generally had a standard of living well above 95% of the world, they were doing this out of love for their child and a concern for their child’s safety and well-being.

Furthermore, it seems that when we can make a group the “other,” when we can distance ourselves and our identities from people in such a way that we fail to see them as human and a part of the larger Divine, we can commit the worst of crimes—genocides, lynchings, racism, murder, abuse, etc… When we distance our mind from our body or our soul from our passion, we can commit the worst of crimes against ourselves. When we fail to recognize our own Divine spark, we injure ourselves.

In retrospect, I ask the question of myself again—From what do we need to be saved? From ourselves? From lives of ignorance? From self-absorption?

I ask myself, what can save us? Perhaps the answer is...us?

Okay, Okay Already, Technology Wins

I've dragged my feet for long enough. After numerous requests and frustration that I can't stay in as close a contact as I'd like with my friends and family, I've decided to start a blog. If nothing else, it will be a kind of road map of what I'm doing and where I've been.

So, without further ado...

I'm just finishing up my third year of seminary. In two weeks, I'll be done with classes! However, this doesn't mean I'm graduating. Rather, I'm about to start the more practice-oriented stage of my program.

Next year, I'll be a hospital chaplain in San Francisco. It's a year-long residency in which I'll be part of the hospital care team along with doctors, nurses, social workers, etc... My job is basically to listen to the patients and their family and friends, sit with them through whatever they are going through, and help them with spiritual needs (i.e. prayer rugs, baptisms, last rites, etc...). I'll be the chaplain for two floors of the hospital patients, visitors, and staff. Also, five times a month I'll be "on call" and can get summoned to whatever area of the hospital needs me.

I know that chaplaincy is going to be stressful and exhausting, but I'm really looking forward to it. I've been training for this for so long, it feels really right to actually be out in the field doing it. Also, it's going to be really nice to get paid! Weird, huh?

More later...

P.S. Jessie is the gray kitty on the left, and Pumpkin is the orange kitty on the right. Just to warn you, this won't be the last picture of my cats that I post, and I apologize.